It’s my birthday. My golden birthday. And actually (I did not plan this) it’s around the time I was born as well. I’m in a strange country. A strange country that is now my home.
Do you believe that when we are born, we have a destiny that we are meant to fulfill? I’m not sure if I do. But if I did believe that God makes us with a specific plan in mind for us, then I would also have to believe that I am living it out right now. That I am fulfilling my destiny so far.
I have made mistakes in my life. I don’t think I regret them. I would not be a whole person without them. I would not be who I am now. And I like who I am. But I wonder.
Life overwhelms. It is fierce. It surprises and attacks.
Yesterday, I tried to order new Polaroid film but the internet was slow and now prices have gone up.
Today, I watched a young boy play a little guitar. He has just begun to learn. Will he still play when he is my age?
Slow days become whole of your summer. Then summer is over and you are leaving home once again. Wondering about summer loves, friends, and plans. Wondering if you have regret.
Seeds become mighty trees and the young replace the old. Only a few mourn. Only a few see it. Am I getting too cliché? Is not the cliché that which is so true that everyone recognizes it?
I look at life and know that it is short. I am not invincible simply because I am young. Is it not but a moment that we are here?
I wish that I could see it, I wish that the knowledge of it could change me. But I am too human.
I pray that I use my life wisely. I wonder if there are things that I am missing. I rejoice at where I am and know that my future is good. Because whatever my future holds, He carries me.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
My New Home
It’s been a week! One week since I left America and flew across the big blue sea, although most days it feels like much longer. Our (the girl’s) house is small, but I’m growing to love it. It has white tiles and white walls. It doesn’t have modern plumbing…instead of showers we take a mandi, which is simply dumping buckets of water over you, and instead of a toilet we have a squatty potty. It’s amusing and interesting and difficult. Yesterday, we finally got dressers and started unpacking our bags, and with doing that, came the realization that this is it. This is our life for the next bit. And with that realization came some questioning of my sanity. But Daddy reassured me that I am where I am supposed to be. I am ready to be here. I’m ready to learn what my Father wants to teach me and I’m ready to step out of my comfort zone. I’m also ready for the experience of a lifetime.
Life here is beautiful. I’ve only seen the ocean twice since I’ve been here, but it is very close and such a gorgeous shade of blue, even next to this industrial island. Houses and buildings are, as a general rule, much more colorful then homes back in the states. Traffic is, of course, crazy. We do not have our own motorcycles, so we have to get around by using carries (15 passenger vans/buses), taxis, or ojeks (motorcycle taxis). We are already able to barter for and ride on these on our own, which makes life easier. Between the girls house, the guy house, the leaders house, and another M’s house, we do a lot of back and forth travel.
We will not start language school for another week and I will be so glad when we do. Right now, we are just doing orientation and learning the island as well as a few things, like how to count and how to barter. Sembilan (nine) and sepuluh (ten) are really difficult to keep straight and remind me of when I was young and always mixed up 11 and 12 haha.
It is humbling to live in a place where you don’t speak the language. You feel like a child all over again and sometimes the frustration builds up until I want to get angry at the people who do understand me, like my team. But I continue to return to the feet of my Daddy and ask Him to refine my character through this time. I know that He has much that He wants to teach me and grow in me. Please be bringing me before the Father, that I let Him have His way.
That is all for now, I’ll try to send out updates regularly. Let me know how I’m doing with them…if there’s too many or too few. I love you all!
Peace and grace, Hannah
Life here is beautiful. I’ve only seen the ocean twice since I’ve been here, but it is very close and such a gorgeous shade of blue, even next to this industrial island. Houses and buildings are, as a general rule, much more colorful then homes back in the states. Traffic is, of course, crazy. We do not have our own motorcycles, so we have to get around by using carries (15 passenger vans/buses), taxis, or ojeks (motorcycle taxis). We are already able to barter for and ride on these on our own, which makes life easier. Between the girls house, the guy house, the leaders house, and another M’s house, we do a lot of back and forth travel.
We will not start language school for another week and I will be so glad when we do. Right now, we are just doing orientation and learning the island as well as a few things, like how to count and how to barter. Sembilan (nine) and sepuluh (ten) are really difficult to keep straight and remind me of when I was young and always mixed up 11 and 12 haha.
It is humbling to live in a place where you don’t speak the language. You feel like a child all over again and sometimes the frustration builds up until I want to get angry at the people who do understand me, like my team. But I continue to return to the feet of my Daddy and ask Him to refine my character through this time. I know that He has much that He wants to teach me and grow in me. Please be bringing me before the Father, that I let Him have His way.
That is all for now, I’ll try to send out updates regularly. Let me know how I’m doing with them…if there’s too many or too few. I love you all!
Peace and grace, Hannah
Thursday, January 6, 2011
A Fresh Start (Written January 5 at 12:37)
It’s morning now, the very beginning of a brand-new day. Something about the fact that it is a new beginning makes me sentimental, bursting with lines that belong only in a Hallmark card, and I’m not sure if it’s only because it is a new year, but I think it is because I just heard the incredible testimony of a friend who has just begun a new life. Over a period of about the last 3 hours, I have been telling her my testimony and she has told me hers.
I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene.
His love is never-ending, always abounding, never ceasing, never failing. In “The Knowledge of the Holy” by A.W. Tozer, he talks about how sometimes the only way we can get close to describing God is by saying what He is not. That is kind of the way I feel right now. Silent yet praising. Dumbfounded yet rejoicing.
In “The Voyage of the Dawn Treader” (the book….not the movie), there is a part where Eustance has been turned into a dragon because of greed. Aslan meets him and Eustance knows that Aslan wants him to remove his skin. He tries to remove the consequences of his sin by himself. Removing layer after layer but making no difference. Aslan with a scratch from his claws removes every layer, undoing the curse.
“Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean.” Isaiah 1:16. What power have we to accomplish this apart from Him? What hope do we have without him making us alive from the dead?
I have no goodness in me. No righteousness to boast of. No love that is not towards myself. Without God. I am dark, but He calls me lovely.
He is the Word made flesh, which dwelt among us. The King of Glory come to man. And we have seen His glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. And from His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. In Him was life and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.
And to all who received Him, who believes in His name, He gives the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.
I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene.
His love is never-ending, always abounding, never ceasing, never failing. In “The Knowledge of the Holy” by A.W. Tozer, he talks about how sometimes the only way we can get close to describing God is by saying what He is not. That is kind of the way I feel right now. Silent yet praising. Dumbfounded yet rejoicing.
In “The Voyage of the Dawn Treader” (the book….not the movie), there is a part where Eustance has been turned into a dragon because of greed. Aslan meets him and Eustance knows that Aslan wants him to remove his skin. He tries to remove the consequences of his sin by himself. Removing layer after layer but making no difference. Aslan with a scratch from his claws removes every layer, undoing the curse.
“Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean.” Isaiah 1:16. What power have we to accomplish this apart from Him? What hope do we have without him making us alive from the dead?
I have no goodness in me. No righteousness to boast of. No love that is not towards myself. Without God. I am dark, but He calls me lovely.
He is the Word made flesh, which dwelt among us. The King of Glory come to man. And we have seen His glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. And from His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. In Him was life and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.
And to all who received Him, who believes in His name, He gives the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)